July 2002
For helpful information about Cagayan de oro, go here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cagayan_de_oro_KanoGroup/
How did I end up in Cagayan de oro, Philippines. In July, 2002 my business was closed and had made many trips to Kentucky to visit with my daughter and her family. I had a ski boat but it was difficult putting the boat in the water by myself and not too much fun going alone to the lake. Florida or Mexico was where I wanted to go especially since the climate was warm. It was just by chance that I ended up coming to the Philippines. I found a girl on the internet that I started exchanging email with. The travel agent told me it would be about $1,200 to fly round trip to the Philippines and I could visit there as tourist with just my Passport for three weeks. The day I left the States it was a cold October day and there was snow on the ground. The flight took me from Charlottesville to DC, then on to Atlanta to Japan, then Japan to Manila.
Landing in Manila
This was my first experience with culture shock. After going through immigration, customs, and then exchanging my money, I stepped outside the doors to the airport to see so many people. Besides there being so many people, I was visiting a people and culture that I had little understanding of.
Many, if not most, of the Filipino people are poor. The society is structured around poor. Things are sold in the smallest sizes. Many Filipinos earn 200p ($5) a day. More difficult was my on going learning of the culture it self. Western culture in more "in your face" whereas Asian is more on "saving face". As a Westerner, I have learned to take care with what I say as it can be considered insulting. To make things worse, it may take months to learn you have said something insulting because it is not told to your face.
White face foreigners are seen as rich. For that reason, often attempts are made to charge me more for an item or service. By Filipinos, this is seen as OK. Why, because being rich, it does not matter if you pay more, you should do it because they are poor.
It is not possible to explain all the difference. Most were and are beyond my understanding and experience. That said, I will say that the Filipino people are good and friendly. I feel safe here and try to fit in and not change things I may not like so much. There is much more that I like than dislike.
If you plan to come here, it would be good to find a Philippine Yahoo Group to join to begin to understand. I made the mistake of thinking that Western and Asian Culture were not that different. Just goes to show how little I knew. Be willing to learn and listen. If you like e-mail me at hughes3864@yahoo.com or the address below. I will try to answer any question you have and\or refer you to a Group that can help.
My first trip here was for a three week visit. Returning home, it was late November in Virginia, quite cold and snow on the ground. I remembered sitting by my wood stove in the living room wishing I were back in the Philippines. The next morning, I called my travel agent to ask if I could book a flight back and miss the Christmas travel rush. She said yes so being home only two weeks, I flew back the first week of December.
I broke up with the girl I came here to meet and dated several different girls looking for the right one to marry. I had been married before and didn't want to make another mistake. At the end of 2003 I had been here a year and still had not found who I considered right. I was frustrated and feeling that the right person was not to be found. It was then that a friend introduced me to Chielo. Ironically, she was not interested in dating with a foreigner but she agreed to meet me with her chaperon. We went out three times, each with her chaperon. On the fourth date, she wanted her chaperon again. I told her she could choose, the chaperon or me. She chose me.
We lived together for 1 1\2 years then got married. For our honeymoon we went to Hong Kong which was an experience. Chielo had two unsuccessful pregnancies before Ronnie was born. When he was three months old, she came in my office to tell me she was pregnant again. So we have two boys 13 months difference in age. I could go on and on about Chielo but will sum it up by saying I love her more now than the day we were married.
I almost made a mistake marrying a girl. It was all to fast. Thankfully a foreigner friend called me aside and laid out things to me. I somehow knew he was right and decided I needed to wait. How close I came to making a bad choice. Things would be very different now and I'm sure I would not be as happy.
In summary, I came here as the result of meeting a girl on the internet. I broke up with her, met another internet girt, broke with her, I dated several but could not find a girl I would want to marry. Finally, a friend introduced me to Chielo.
Why Cagayan de oro? The girl I met on-line lived here so this is where I came to meet her. In the three weeks I was here, we went to every resort, every Mall and many nice places to eat. After breaking with her, I came back to CDO. CDO has been an good place for me to live with lots of family things to do. You can see the fun we have with the kids at Coco Bay. There are many nice restaurants where my wife and I go, some inside, some out, where we go together or to meet our friends. For more info on CDO, go here:
http://travel.yahoo.com/p-travelguide-487752-cagayan_de_oro_vacations-i
Cagayan de oro has a population of about 550,000. Of that, there are about 200 expats.(this does not include Asian expats) Expat simply meaning foreigner.
There is a CDO Expats Yahoo Group that would be good to join if you are considering vacationing or coming to Cagayan de oro. Just go to the link below and join. You will find lots of help and information about the city.
Of the 200 expats in CDO, 40 or less would be members of the Expats Yahoo Group. There are different get togethers each week, usually 5-15 expats and their wives attend.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cagayan_de_oro_KanoGroup/
